​Here’s my story …
 

So… I have something to tell you. I kinda, um, broke the gate. Again.

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But we really even need a gate? I mean, what do I have to do to get you people to trust me?

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What’s that? Stop escaping out of the yard and running around the neighborhood? Well, um, okay. I guess that’s fair.

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You know I always plan on coming back, right? You don’t have to chase after me in a panic every time I step out to stretch my legs. Last time you found me, you were running down the street in slippers and a robe. Imma be honest: It wasn’t a good look.

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Let me try to put your mind at rest. If I decide to leave the premises, it is not, I repeat not, because I hate you and never want to see you again.

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In fact, it can be for different reasons. Sometimes you’re out of the house for a while and I just get bored. Sometimes I hear a loud, scary noise—thunder, for example—and want to run away as fast as possible. (I know you can relate to this. I’ve seen you hiding under the covers during a T-storm.)

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And sometimes I… well, let’s just say I sometimes become keenly aware that there are some very attractive canines here in Salem and would like to go out and make their acquaintance.

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So, what are we gonna do about this? Well, I was chatting with Lucky the other day—you know, the Parker’s dachshund—and she was telling me that her owners recently bought her a few of those nifty ‘puzzle toys’. Lucky swears by them. She says that, whenever she’s home alone, they can keep her entertained for hours.

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Oh, by the way, my birthday’s coming up soon. Hint, hint.

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Anyway, I’m just gonna head out for a second to… oh no. You fixed the gate? Again? Didn’t you hear what I said about the attractive canines?!

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Could someone please give me a cold bath?

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Story by ShadyPets.com (c) 2021. All Rights Reserved.