Shady Pets Angry Pet Pack - Deceit

Deceit

Shady Cat Pet ID: 7106
My hang out: Missoula, MT

Featured: Angry Pet Pack - Expansion Pack

My mug shots …

Here’s my story …

There are two—not one, but two—very good reasons why I, to borrow your phrasing, ‘destroyed absolutely everything in our entire kitchen’.

Reason One: Missoula gets really freaking cold in the winter (17°F is the average low in December and January) and, given that I would rather not meet the same fate as Jack Torrance at the end of The Shining, I generally choose to stay indoors.

Reason Two: There’s nothing for a cat to do in our house. No scratching posts, no trees, no chase toys, no Trixie 5-in-1 Cat Activity Center… I may have Googled ‘best cat toys 2020’.

In fact, to use another reference from The Shining: All work and no play makes Deceit a dull cat.

What’s that? Well… okay, fine, I guess I don’t really work.

Let’s just say: No play makes Deceit a dull cat.

Although, actually, it doesn’t make me dull, it makes me destroy absolutely everything in our entire kitchen.

So: No play makes Deceit a cat who destroys—you know what, forget the analogy.

Despite my name, I’m really not trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes here. I’m just being real. Either buy your cat some toys or risk coming home to the contents of a fruit bowl strewn across your kitchen floor; a pot of Yoplait Original somehow opened and poured into your espresso machine; and twin girls in matching pale blue dresses asking you to ‘come play’ with them.

Okay, maybe not that last one.

Anyway, do we all understand each other now? Are we cool?

Sorry? You’re saying I do have cat toys, they’re just in the living room? Well… I…

But I was already in the kitchen. So the living room was like super far away. Do you see?

Wait, what are you doing with my toys? Where are you taking them?

Look, I’m sure there are cats much worse off than myself who would truly appreciate the toys, but that doesn’t mean—no no no, don’t put them in the car—please, just wait, plea—

RRRAAAAARRRAAAAWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!!!